Weiß Kreuz Meets the Music
by Aduial1
Summary: If Weiß Kreuz raided my CD collection. Sorry none of my HTML works...
1. CATS:Pretty Aprons for Pretty Weiß Boys

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Bp r e t t y . a p r o n s . f o r . p r e t t y . w e i ß . b o y s/B  
  
Weiß Meets the Music  
  
Put to IJellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats/I from Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical, Cats.  
  
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BAya: /B Are you hit by a car, when you walk down the street?  
  
(Isuddenly remembers she's meant to be in a coma, and falls unconscious/I)  
  
BYoji: /B Do you smoke cigarettes -  
  
BKen: /B or train a kid's soccer team?  
  
BSchu: /B (Ilooking at Farf/I) Do you lick your knives, and get hung from your feet?  
  
BOmi: /B Were you raped as a kid and have a strange family tree?  
  
BWeiß: /B Because… -  
  
BWeiß & Schwarz: /B Kitty boys are and kitty boys do  
  
Kitty boys do and kitty boys would  
  
Kitty boys would and kitty boys can  
  
Kitty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
BWeiß: /BWhen you go into fight, do you wear the same thing?  
  
BYoji: /B (Ielbows Ran/I) Do ya freak when you peek at a rose that ain't neat?  
  
BFarf: /BCan ya find your blind when ya left eyes missin'?  
  
BRan: /BDo you get pissed that your sister's asleep…?  
  
BWeiß: /B Because…  
  
BWeiß & Schwarz: /BKitty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
Kitty boys do and kitty boys can  
  
Kitty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
Kitty boys do and kitty boys can  
  
Kitty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
BNagi: /BCan you ride in a chopper to places far distant?  
  
BSchu: /BFamiliar with glasses, bandana and stick?  
  
BFarf: /BWere you Nagi Naoe's friend? Bradley Crawford's assistant?  
  
BBrad: /BYou ever wanted to get a hold of Schu's -  
  
I.: Ken covers Omi's ears :. /I  
  
BBirman: /BAre you mean, like Reiji?  
  
BManx: /BAre you lean, like Yoji?  
  
BRuth: /BAre you keen to be seen when you make yourself bleed?  
  
BSakura: /B Where you there when Weiß first hated Takatori?  
  
BPersia: /BIf you were or you are, you're a Weiß obsessee  
  
BSchreient: /BPretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
BRan: /BWe can change our names after the age 16  
  
BYoji: /BWe can get chicks and can kill with a wire  
  
BKen: /BWe can get starved of our soccer pro dream…   
  
BOmi: /B We can date half sisters! My daddy's Persia!   
  
BSchwarz: /BKitty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
Kitty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
Kitty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
Kitty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
BSchreient: /BPretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
BYoji: /BCan ya sing three top singles and make a CD?  
  
And fans will argue how to spell your name?  
  
BOmi & Ken: /BAnd can you like we do, endure spilled coffee?  
  
BBig Kev!?: /BThat always leaves these horrid brown stains?  
  
BSchwarz: /BWussy Weiß boys are hunters of crime  
  
We get away from them every time  
  
Handling jobs from Takatori  
  
BReiji: /BBut those dumb boys are always failing!  
  
BSchwarz: /B The bishounen divinity of unashamed felinity  
  
Round the Magic Bus ran poor Ran  
  
Sakura chased him, that p-o-o-r man  
  
BSakura: /B I (dreamy-eyed) /I Gorgeous, fearless, faithful and scarred  
  
By sisters who are - what?  
  
BAya: /B I (suddenly awakes) /I Kitty boys do and kitty boys can  
  
BSakura & Aya: /B Kitty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
Pretty Weiss boys sing kitty boys chants  
  
Pretty boys can and kitty boys do  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
BAll: /B Practical boys, dramatical boys  
  
Pragmatical boys, fanatical boys  
  
Oratorical boys, delphicoracle boys  
  
Skeptical boys, dispeptical boys  
  
Romantical boys, pedantical boys  
  
Critical boys, parasitical boys  
  
Allegorical boys, metaphorical boys  
  
Statistical boys, sadistical boys  
  
Political boys, hypocritical boys  
  
Clerical boys, hysterical boys  
  
Maniacal boys, un-Orthodoxical boys  
  
I.:all gasping for air:. /I  
  
BScheient: /BPretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
Pretty aprons for pretty Weiß boys  
  
BKen: /BThere's a man over there  
  
With a look of despise  
  
As much as to say  
  
BBrad: /B "We have work to do."  
  
BOmi: /B Do I actually see a man with just one eye?  
  
BKen: /BA man who's obsurd, and a crazy Irish?  
  
BYoji: /BWhassup with that Irish?  
  
BRan: /B … 


	2. CATS: Schuldig the German Man

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s c h u l d i g . t h e . g e r m a n . m a n .  
  
( a n d e v e r y o n e e l s e )  
  
Weiß Meets Cats - Song 2  
  
Dedicated to Jade,  
  
(I hope you're a Schuldig fan!)  
  
Put to Macavity  
  
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Brad: Schuldig is a German man  
  
Fan Girls: He's called Hot Schuii Boy  
  
He's such a spunky criminal  
  
Nagi: That Bradley gets annoyed  
  
Schu: I'm the green-eyed one, with bandana  
  
And all that ginger hair .:flicks hair over his shoulder:.  
  
Schreient: And when Weiß reach the scene of crime  
  
Schu and his friends aren't there  
  
Hel: Oh German man, oh German man, there's no one like that German man  
  
(Yoji: I thought you liked Masafumi? .: gets given a death glare:.)  
  
Neu: He's broken every Weiss guys mind  
  
Schoen: He's probes them just because he can  
  
And if I'm not mistaken  
  
Tot: SQUEEE!  
  
Schreient: Us fan-girls always stare  
  
When there is a scene of crime  
  
And our Schuii is there!  
  
Sakura: When they watch him beat the florists  
  
All the Schu-fans always drool  
  
And they'll tell you once and once again  
  
All: "He's the hot one, you damn fool!!!"  
  
Yoji: That damn Crawford's an ugly man,  
  
Worse hair then Wolverine...  
  
Ken: And he's a master criminal.  
  
Omi: He's very, very mean... *hides under table*  
  
Schu: His brow is deeply lined with thought.  
  
Nagi: His head is highly domed.  
  
Farf: He's never let us have fun, yet… *pouts, and pulls out a dagger*  
  
Nagi: I'll runaway from home!  
  
Schu: He cocks his head from side to side  
  
How much work will it take!?  
  
Nagi: And when you think he's half asleep….  
  
All: He's always wide awake!  
  
Hel: But the German man, the German man, there's no one like that German man  
  
(Yoji: But - ? .:gets slapped:. )  
  
Neu: He's a fiend in German shape  
  
Schoen: He tortures Schwarz more than their fans  
  
Schreient: You may meet him in a bystreet  
  
You may see him in the square  
  
And when he's up there on the screen  
  
The fan-girls always stare!  
  
Schu: I'm outwardly respectable…  
  
Brad: Hah! Schu, you cheat at cards…  
  
Nagi: And he's got videos under his mattress!  
  
Schu: You little retard!!  
  
(Farf: *maniacal laughter* Schu just hurt God!)  
  
Tot: Now how about Nagi  
  
Schreient: He's gonna leave us stifled  
  
Schu: I'll stifle him for ya!  
  
Crawford, where's your rifle?  
  
.:Nagi faints:.  
  
Crawford: I think that Schuldig's spoken  
  
He's got that gun right there….  
  
Farf (bloodthirsty): And all of Schreient gave a scream  
  
Now Nagi's heads not there!  
  
Weiß: And Farfarello's happy  
  
'Cos Nagi's head's just been blown  
  
Right off from his body  
  
Omi: I think I see bone… *faints*  
  
Sakura: I don't know why I'm singing now  
  
It's just to take up time  
  
The author's inspiration  
  
Just committed a crime  
  
Weiß: Farfarello, Farfarello, didn't sing bout Farfarello  
  
He likes to hurt a God a lot  
  
And that is about all we know  
  
Schreient: You may meet him in a convent  
  
Killing all the nuns there  
  
But when Schuii is on the screen  
  
The fan-girls always stare!  
  
Schu (singing): You know I can read your mind baby, uh huh.. yeah.  
  
Brad: The song's over Schuldig…  
  
Schu: Oh, yeah I knew that…  
  
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please review? 


	3. PEPSI LIVE: Persia

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Bp e r s i a . /B  
  
Weiß Meets Modern Music  
  
Put to Stronger – Britney Spears.  
  
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BManx: /BOoh heeeey yeah!  
  
BBirman: /BHush, just stop  
  
BManx: /BThere's a mission you must do for him  
  
Yoji, I've had enough.  
  
Shut your trap, don't wanna hear you say a thing.  
  
You might want to see me naked, on my own. But -  
  
I.: everyone listens intently :./I  
  
I love Persia Takatori!  
  
Though I can't say his real name  
  
His facial hair turns me on like a whore  
  
I love Persia!  
  
I.: Yoji faints :./I  
  
Now onto the mission you must do, okay?  
  
BBirman: /BLet's just show the video.  
  
BManx: /B K, let's see how thing works… *swears under her breath*  
  
I.: Persia appears on the screen:./I  
  
BPersia: /BThere is something I must tell you, Tsukiyono  
  
'Cos I'm your father, little Omi!  
  
I.: Omi faints :./I  
  
(BManx: /B That happens a lot here…)  
  
You're actually a Takatori!  
  
(BRan: /BShii-ne Takatori!!!)  
  
I should have told you 'bout this before  
  
Don't date Ouka!  
  
BKen: /BNot breathing…?  
  
Oh yeah! *does CPR*  
  
BRan: /B Should you do that on your own?  
  
BKen: /B Call 991 on your mobile phone.  
  
Here I go, a deep breath now!  
  
Hope he doesn't die, 'cos I'm so clumsy!  
  
Here I goI (cheesy echo in background for effect)/I  
  
I(in slow-mo, stupid breath sounds from Britney's song can be heard)/I  
  
BYoji: /BI (wakes up) /IAlright!  
  
BKen: /B What the hell!? I(another gay echo in background)/I  
  
BYoji: /B This'll make good yaoi to sell over the internet!  
  
BManx: /B That is not what he's doing you man-whore.  
  
BYoji: /B You've seen my porn??  
  
BManx: /B Hey I thought this  
  
Song was meant to be about Persia  
  
But instead it just turned into chaos  
  
What bout Persia Takatori?  
  
BRan: /B The ambulance is on it's way  
  
Wait, there is someone knocking at the door  
  
I(walks off)  
  
(can be heard from back in the mission room)/I  
  
Hello…  
  
Persia… 


	4. How I Lick My Knives

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Bh o w . i . l i c k . m y . k n i v e s /B  
  
Weiß Meets the Music – Farfie Tribute  
  
Put to NICKELBACK - How You Remind Me.  
  
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BEntirely sung by Farfarello: /B  
  
Never made it as a madman  
  
I couldn't cut it as a goddamn Christian  
  
Tired of living like a blind man  
  
I'm sick of pain without a sense of feeling  
  
And this is how I lick my knives  
  
This is how I lick my knives and cut off my hand  
  
This is how I lick my knives and cut off my hand  
  
It's not like you to not worry  
  
I was jumping off a different storey  
  
This time God's mistaken  
  
For handling a soul worth breaking  
  
He's all wrong, puts me down  
  
He let's me mess with Brad's car's throttle  
  
These five words in my head  
  
Scream ,"Are we hurting God, yet?"  
  
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no.  
  
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no.  
  
It's not like you didn't know that  
  
I'm not a Satanist, don't do voodoo  
  
Just no Orthodox man  
  
Cause living with God makes me want to kill you  
  
And this is how I lick my knives and cut off my hand  
  
This is how I lick my knives and cut of my hand  
  
It's not like you to not worry  
  
I was jumping off a different storey  
  
This time God's mistaken  
  
For handling a soul worth breaking  
  
He's all wrong, puts me down  
  
He let's me mess with Brad's car's throttle  
  
These five words in my head  
  
Scream ,"Are we hurting God, yet?"  
  
yeah, yeah, yeah, no no  
  
yeah, yeah, yeah, no no  
  
yeah, yeah, yeah, no no  
  
yeah, yeah, yeah, no no  
  
Never made it as a madman  
  
I couldn't cut it as a goddamn Christian  
  
And this is how I lick my knives  
  
This is how I lick my knives  
  
This is how I lick my knives and cut off my hand  
  
This is how I lick my knives and cut off my hand  
  
It's not like you to not worry  
  
I was jumping off a different storey  
  
This time God's mistaken  
  
For handling a soul worth breaking  
  
He's all wrong, puts me down  
  
He let's me mess with Brad's car's throttle  
  
These five words in my head  
  
Scream ,"Are we hurting God, yet?"  
  
yeah, yeah, are we hurtin' God, yet?  
  
yeah, yeah, are we hurtin' God, yet?  
  
five words in my head  
  
yeah, yeah, are we hurtin' God, yet?  
  
five words in my head  
  
Yeah, yeah. No, no. 


	5. PEPSI LIVE: Schreient

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Bs c h r e i e n t . /B  
  
Weiß Meets Modern Music  
  
Put to Demons – Fatboy Slim & Macy Gray.  
  
Rated PG13: For the use of an improper word.  
  
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BManx: /BThey say that Schwarz made the attack  
  
(IBSchwarz: /B Hey!!/I)  
  
I think some creature's comin' back  
  
BYoji: /BAnd I am fine 'cos all my love's electrifying! *wink*  
  
BRan: /BI feel like a cesspool…  
  
BAya: /BLike a sewer!? Eww!  
  
BSchuldig: /BAnd it's my premonition -  
  
BBrad: /BDo you think anyone's listenin'?  
  
BFarf: /BSo God's preacher said –  
  
BNagi:/B (Iperforming an exorcism on Omi/I) All of your demons will wither away!  
  
BYoji: /BEcstasy comes and Neu cannot escape!  
  
BNagi: /BSo that no demons will come your way.  
  
BOmi: /BDoes that mean Schreient will whither away?  
  
BFarf: /BThat bunch of puppets will wither away! *hyena laugh*  
  
BNagi: /BThey say he shook himself to death  
  
Telepathy 'till his last breath  
  
But stupid Crawford's only party's –  
  
BBrad (drunk): /BIch bin doof!!  
  
(IBYoji: /BSo this American walks into a bar…/I)  
  
BSchuldig: /BI think he's trying German!  
  
BBrad: /B Das ist mein hamburg- Dad IST mein hamburger!  
  
BSchuldig: /B Like in my premonition, next time you better listen.  
  
BFarf: /B So God's preacher said –  
  
BNagi: /B I don't want my Tot to wither away!  
  
BMasafumi: /BShe's not yours, she's mine and with me she'll stay.  
  
BOmi: /B So not all demons whither away? Eep! *runs and hides*  
  
BFarf: /BThat bunch of puppets should wither away.  
  
BSchreient: /BWe are not puppets!  
  
BFarf: /BPuppets! *maniacal laughter*  
  
BOmi: /BWhither away!  
  
BFarf: /BWither away! *dances around like a madman*  
  
BSchwarz: /BAll of you women should wither away  
  
BSchoen: /BYou wanna come say that to my face??  
  
BSchwarz & Weiß: /BAll of you women should wither away!  
  
BSchuldig: /BWe're not listening to what you girls say!  
  
BFarf: /BHurting God!  
  
BYoji: /B (stands close to Neu) Ecstasy comes…  
  
BNeu: /B E ---- Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!  
  
BYoji: /BAsuka!? What wrong!? What did I say!?  
  
BNeu: /BEcstasy cums!?  
  
BYoji: /BOh, now I see… *goes red*  
  
I.: Everyone bursts out into fits of laughter. Except Nagi, Omi, Ken & an embarrassed Yoji :./I  
  
BOmi: /B I don't get why everybody's laughing!  
  
BFarf: /BThat one hurt God!  
  
BSchuldig: /BThat was so fuuuuuuuuunnay! 


End file.
